0aa09990

Why Kids Don't Always Talk About Being Told Off? (How Can We Help?)

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 09:37:26 GMT

“From silence to self-expression: guiding children through tricky emotions.”

As parents, carers, or teachers, it can be worrying when a child doesn’t share what’s really going on — especially when it comes to being told off or corrected. Sometimes a child will brush over incidents, minimise them, or stay completely silent.

From my counselling work with children, I’ve learned that there are often good reasons for this silence — and that with the right support, children can learn to open up and build healthier ways of expressing themselves.

Why Children Stay Quiet

Fear of getting into more trouble
Many children believe that if they talk about a time they were told off, they’ll get into even more trouble for mentioning it again. Staying quiet feels safer.

Difficulty putting feelings into words
Emotional vocabulary develops with time, but younger children often lack the words to explain feelings like embarrassed, ashamed, or misunderstood. Instead of risking saying the “wrong” thing, they say nothing.

Wanting to please adults
Some children are so keen to maintain peace or gain approval that they downplay problems, even when they feel agitated inside.

Believing it’s “normal”
A child who often feels blamed or unfairly told off may start to see it as part of daily life, and therefore not something worth talking about.

What This Can Lead To

When children hold things inside, they may exhibit it in other ways — such as irritability, withdrawal, difficulty focusing, or bursts of anger. Over time, this can impact confidence and self-esteem, particularly as they prepare for significant transitions, such as moving to secondary school.

How We Can Help

The good news is that with the right tools, children can learn to open up and express themselves more safely and confidently. Here are some strategies I use in sessions — and ones you can try at home too:

Use tools, not questions. Instead of asking “Were you told off today?”, use emotion wheels, dice, or drawing activities. These give children another way to express feelings without pressure.
Normalise mistakes. Gently remind your child that everyone makes mistakes, and talking about them doesn’t mean they’re “bad.”
Create safe spaces. Regular one-to-one time without distractions permits children to open up at their own pace.
Teach coping tools. Breathing exercises, “pause buttons,” and positive self-talk can help children regulate their emotions when they feel blamed or misunderstood.

Final Thoughts

If your child doesn’t always share when they’ve been told off, it doesn’t mean they don’t care or that they’re hiding something “bad.” More often, it means they’re still learning how to navigate big feelings and find their voice.

With support, patience, and the right tools, children can build the confidence to explain themselves calmly and start to see challenges as opportunities for growth.

I support children and families in strengthening these skills — building resilience for both everyday challenges and significant life transitions.

From Overwhelmed to Empowered – Understanding and Managing Overwhelm

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 08:17:15 GMT

It's More Common Than You Think

In today’s fast-paced world, many of us find ourselves stretched thin — juggling work, family, finances, and personal expectations. It’s no wonder that feelings of overwhelm are increasingly common. But what exactly is overwhelm, why does it happen, and most importantly, what can we do about it?

What is Overwhelm?

Overwhelm isn’t simply “having too much on your plate.” It’s a full-body and mind experience that occurs when demands feel greater than our ability to cope. You might notice racing thoughts, irritability, restlessness, or even a complete shutdown. This isn’t weakness — it’s your nervous system responding as if you’re under threat.

The Science Behind Overwhelm

When we feel overloaded, the body activates the fight, flight, or freeze response. This ancient survival system prepares us to deal with danger by pumping adrenaline, raising heart rate, and sharpening alertness. While useful in true emergencies, it isn’t designed for constant emails, deadlines, or family stress. Over time, the body’s alarm system can become overactive, making everyday challenges feel unmanageable.

Common Signs of Overwhelm

Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Feeling tense, restless, or snappy
Physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tightness, or poor sleep
Procrastination or avoidance
A sense of being “stuck” or paralysed

Practical Ways to Begin Managing Overwhelm

The good news is that there are simple, evidence-based tools that can help you regain calm and clarity:

1. Grounding Techniques
Bring yourself back to the present moment using your senses. For example, try the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise: notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This interrupts racing thoughts and signals safety to the body.

2. Breathing for Calm
Practise box breathing: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Even 2–3 minutes can settle the nervous system and reduce stress.

3. Movement Resets
Stress often gets “stuck” in the body. Gentle stretches, a short walk, or shaking out your arms can help release tension and shift your energy.

4. Break it Down
When everything feels too much, choose one small, achievable step. Completing a single task creates momentum and a sense of progress.

5. Reach Out
Talking to someone you trust — a friend, coach, or counsellor — can help lighten the load and bring perspective.

From Overwhelm to Empowerment

Overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means your system is working overtime to protect you. With awareness and practical strategies, you can move from feeling stuck to feeling empowered. You don’t need to do it alone.

This is exactly what we’ll explore in my upcoming ‘Overwhelmed to Empowered’ workshop : practical tools, supportive discussion, and guided exercises designed to help you manage stress more effectively and regain balance.

If overwhelm is something you’re facing right now, know that change is possible. With the right support and strategies, you can quiet the noise, reclaim focus, and step forward with greater confidence.

Ready to take the first step?
Join me for the Overwhelmed to Empowered workshop and discover how small changes can make a big difference.

Go to my Contact page to reserve a place on a workshop. More details on workshops are available on the workshop page.

“Why I Started Redpoint Life Coaching & Counselling – and How It Can Help You”

Wed, 30 Jul 2025 15:51:03 GMT

Life Doesn't Always Follow A Straight Path

Many of us face moments where everything feels uncertain – whether it’s a change in career, a relationship challenge, financial worries, or simply wondering, “What’s next for me?” I know this feeling all too well because I’ve been there myself.

My Journey

Over 25 years ago, during one of the most challenging periods of my life, I experienced first-hand the life-changing – and truly life-saving – benefits of counselling .

From that moment, it became a long-term goal of mine to one day become a counsellor myself, so I could offer the same support and guidance to others.

Life took me first into a successful corporate career , which gave me the financial foundation to eventually retrain. Along the way, I transitioned naturally into consultancy, life coaching, and business coaching , helping people and organisations to grow, develop resilience, and navigate change.

But my passion has always been to support people on a deeper, more personal level. That’s why I returned to study, completing advanced counselling qualifications and now working towards a BACP-accredited counselling degree . For me, learning and growing never stops – I continually strive to offer the best possible support to those who need it.

Why "Redpoint"?

In climbing, a “redpoint” is the moment you successfully complete a route you’ve prepared and trained for. I chose this name because it symbolises overcoming obstacles, building resilience, and reaching goals – not by avoiding challenges, but by navigating them with strength and support.

What I Offer

Redpoint is here for anyone facing life’s transitions – whether personal or professional. My approach is:

Person-Centred: Every session is tailored to you, your challenges, and your aspirations.
Practical: Together, we create actionable steps you can take straight away.
Collaborative: You’re not alone – I’m right beside you, guiding and encouraging you as you progress.

I work with individuals who want support to:

Manage stress and overwhelm
Build confidence and overcome self-doubt
Navigate career changes or retirement planning
Find balance in life and work
Improve relationships and communication
Work through grief
Understand and manage emotions and resulting behaviours

These are just some of the ways I support clients

I also support businesses through leadership coaching, team development, and culture transformation , helping leaders build stronger, more sustainable organisations.

Why I Do This Work

Knowing the transformational power of counselling and coaching , I want to give that back to as many people as possible . With NHS mental health services under immense pressure and the demand for emotional support growing, I work hard to make my private practice affordable and accessible , ensuring no one is turned away because of cost.

This was never about money for me – it’s about making a genuine difference. Helping someone find clarity, overcome emotional pain, or take back control of their life is why I do what I do every day.

Let’s Take the First Step

If this resonates with you, I’d love to talk. We can start with an informal chat to explore what you need and how we can work together – no pressure, just a conversation about where you are and where you’d like to be.

You’ve already taken the first step by exploring this page – now let’s see where your journey can take you.

�� Contact me here or call me directly on 07713 485856 to arrange a complimentary, no-obligation discovery call.